College of Example

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About

At the College of Example, we take academic unpredictability to an art form. Majors range from “Procrastinology” (a.k.a. Extreme Avoidance Studies) to “Ramen Gourmet Engineering,” where students design gourmet instant noodles using only a microwave and cheap seasoning packets. Campus landmarks include the Great Lawn of Indecision-the only quad where every bench is permanently occupied by students who can’t decide which class to skip next. Legend has it that freshmen once tried to chart the blank whiteboard in the philosophy building, asking deep questions like “Is this doodle meaningful?” before promptly walking away.

The mascot here is the unofficial “Lord Placeholder,” a mysterious figure seen only during orientation week, lurking beside frostbitten vending machines and unfilled syllabi. Sporting a robe adorned with whimsically meaningless Latin (“Quidquid Latine dictum, sit pro examples”), the Placeholder represents both academic ambition and a profound commitment to showing up fashionably late. Rumor has it he started a community tradition called “Skip Day,” though nobody’s quite sure who skipped what-or even when.

True to its namesake, the College of Example invents entirely useless but impressive‑sounding clubs, including the Underwater Basket Weaving Think Tank, the Society for Unsolved Exam Mysteries (where students investigate how their homework disappeared), and the Bacon Appreciation Service Learning Project-because everything’s better with bacon! Graduation ceremonies culminate in a ceremonial toss of rubber chickens (our official alternative to mortarboards), accompanied by the college fight song-a twelve‑minute polka medley with at least three key changes and a kazoo solo. Diploma? Optional-but a lifetime supply of ramen is mandatory.

Special Requirements and Information

First, every applicant must submit a hand‑woven résumé-literally. Using faux wheat stalks, ramen wrappers, and leftover ramen seals, hopeful students construct a textile résumé showcasing their “life journey” through pattern and color. Bonus points if your design reveals your secret passion for Underwater Basket Weaving Think Tank meetings. A panel of third‑year Ramen Gourmet Engineering majors will examine it in a dimly lit room, sipping lukewarm cup‑noods, before delivering their verdict based on both aesthetic and aroma. Only those résumés that remain intact after accidental steam‑soaking qualify for the coveted “Boiled Resilience” admission badge.

Next, applicants must pass the “Placeholder Challenge”-a live audition judged by none other than the enigmatic Lord Placeholder. Candidates don an improvised robe (trash-bag gowns are highly encouraged) and deliver a one‑minute impromptu speech on a nonsensical Latin phrase randomly drawn from a hat (e.g., “Sunt iterin exemplum quidquid latine”). The audience (comprised of disinterested freshmen playing Among Us) must laugh at least once before the speech ends; otherwise, the applicant is required to teach a kazoo lesson during graduation week. Reddit-style humor in admission essays is not off-limits-students have shared:

“I wrote my application essay about how snails are going to destroy the world… they must have liked it.” reddit.com+2reddit.com+2rd.com+2
But too much brilliance in one statement may force a mandatory participation in the Skip Day Parade-wearing a rubber chicken hat and juggling ramen packets.

Think you’re up for it? Apply today-just don’t forget your woven résumé, kazoo ambitions, and a sense of the delightfully ridiculous!

Undergraduate Degrees

Bachelor of Science

• Fermentation Sciences & Ramen Microbiology, B.S.
  • Noodle Option
  • Microbe Option
• Adventure and Skip Day Engineering, B.S.
• Theme Park Kazoo Acoustics, B.S.

Bachelor of Arts

• Phlosophical Placeholder Studies, B.A.
  • Existential Meaning Concentration
  • Empty Whiteboards Concentration
• Underwater Basket Weaving Performance, B.A.

Minors options:

Graduate Degrees

Master of Sciences

Doctor of Philosophy

• Astrobiology & Snail Word Domination, Ph.D.
• Parapsychological Procrastination, Ph.D.
• Mythological Skip Day Rituals, Ph.D.

Graduate Certificate Programs

• Alphabetization of Noodles, Certificate
• Kazoo Selection, Certificate

Advising

At the College of Example, student advising is a unique, almost mystical experience, led by a team of expert advisors known as the Guidebeacons. Students are assigned their personal Guidebeacon based on their ability to successfully balance a kazoo while reciting Shakespearean insults, and these advisors specialize in navigating the labyrinth of indecision that marks every Example student’s journey. The advising process begins with a mandatory “Life Path Opt-Out Form,” which gives students the option to not choose their career path, an exercise in true academic freedom. Advisors also offer “mid-term existential crisis check-ins,” during which they’ll hand students a rubber chicken and gently ask, “What would you do if you didn’t have to do anything at all?” For those at risk of burning out from too much thought (or skipping too many classes), a team of Caffeine Counselors provides 24/7 support with personalized ramen broth blends and motivational kazoo music. Students often leave these sessions feeling confused yet oddly fulfilled-exactly as the College of Example intended.

Accreditation

The College of Example boasts a surprisingly robust roster of “accreditations,” each one more prestigious (and completely made-up) than the last:

1. International Association of Noodle-Based Degree Programs (IANBDP) - Recognized for its pioneering efforts in blending higher education with instant noodle gastronomy, this accreditation certifies that the College of Example offers the world’s most innovative ramen-centric curricula. Every graduate is guaranteed to understand the deep philosophical questions behind the perfect noodle-to-water ratio.

2. Global Institute of Useless But Entertaining Studies (GIUBES) - Proudly certified by GIUBES, the College of Example has been recognized for its unrelenting commitment to delivering the kind of education that will make absolutely no impact on the real world. With a focus on absurdity, creativity, and the occasional kazoo performance, the College has earned its place as a leader in entertaining educational chaos.

3. Association of Academic Delusion (AAD) - A prestigious (yet fictional) organization dedicated to fostering creativity through structured academic delusion. The College of Example has been consistently ranked in the top tier for its dedication to imaginative curriculum development, particularly in areas like “What if” Philosophy and “Why Not” Engineering. This accreditation allows the College to offer a truly “out-of-the-box” education… or maybe it’s just the box of instant ramen.

With these “accreditations” proudly displayed in the admin office (between the kazoo collection and a giant rubber chicken statue), the College of Example maintains its reputation as an institution where reality takes a back seat, and imagination drives the academic bus.

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